I knew...I was marrying my half-sister. I found out right before our wedding. But I couldn't stand humiliating her or revealing my ignorance. {Image is everything. Guangyao is actually tearing up, his voice shaking.} Jin Rusong was his name. He was a beautiful boy. But every year he grew and I worried signs would begin to show...
[ This is exactly why Xue Yang never got too involved with sect politics. He had hated the rules and expectations. And hearing about the positions that Jin Guangyao had been forced into... ]
You were in a shitty, impossible position. You did what you had to. Everyone would've judged you even more harshly if they knew... [ Because people like them are never given the benefit of doubt. ]
{And there it is. The automatic understanding. No judgement. No anger or disgust. Guangyao pulls Xue Yang into a hard kiss, deciding to...be a better protector. As best as he can.}
They would have terrorized him. {Somehow imagining his Rusong bullied just...broke him.}
[ Xue Yang lets out a soft sound into the kiss. He's suddenly very, very grateful that Jin Guangyao is here too. Who else would understand him like this? ]
Yeah. [ He strokes his friend's cheek. ] You tried... and everything got fucked up. Just like me.
[ Xue Yang nods and leans in to put their foreheads together. ]
Yeah. You're the only one who... who gets me. [ And it's not something he takes for granted! ] I had this stupid idea that Xiao Xingchen might, if I just explained myself to him... [ He laughs humorlessly. ] But in the end, he reacted just like everyone else.
He told me... before his Shifu found him, that he was on the streets for a while. [ Xue Yang swallows hard, bitterly. ] But of course, he got lucky. Someone saved him.
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{Ooof that had been a bad idea all around.}
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I'm sorry. Your father was a piece of shit.
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I had a son and...I couldn't let him live. He was proof of my greatest mistake.
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You didn't have a choice. Sect politics are bullshit. You just got trapped in it.
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You were in a shitty, impossible position. You did what you had to. Everyone would've judged you even more harshly if they knew... [ Because people like them are never given the benefit of doubt. ]
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They would have terrorized him. {Somehow imagining his Rusong bullied just...broke him.}
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Yeah. [ He strokes his friend's cheek. ] You tried... and everything got fucked up. Just like me.
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If we have each other, it's not so bad. {He smiles shakily and kisses Xue Yang's hand.}
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Yeah. You're the only one who... who gets me. [ And it's not something he takes for granted! ] I had this stupid idea that Xiao Xingchen might, if I just explained myself to him... [ He laughs humorlessly. ] But in the end, he reacted just like everyone else.
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He has never been a homeless, starving child. He has never been beaten down by a whole sect. He has never been denied love by family.
He's naive and stupid.
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